


The (re)Birth

by silent_masque



Category: Inazuma Eleven
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-31
Updated: 2012-03-31
Packaged: 2017-11-02 19:12:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/372374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silent_masque/pseuds/silent_masque
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That’s when he knows that he’s a replacement for Midorikawa the same way Hiroto is a replacement for Gouenji.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The (re)Birth

That's three times now. Three times in the same week. Whenever Fubuki finally manages to get some decent amount of time alone with Gouenji, Toramaru always seems to manage to find them.

The first time was when Fubuki and Gouenji were having nighttime practice outside because they were trying to evolve Crossfire. Toramaru wandered out and watched (and constantly commented, thereby breaking Fubuki's concentration) not even halfway through the hour they'd set aside. (Gouenji ended up calling it off early because he quote-unquote "could see that Fubuki was in no shape for practice".) And in the end, Fubuki didn't even get to talk about the results of their training and whether or not Gouenji had felt they'd improved because Toramaru could really talk up a storm.

The second time was when Fubuki was looking around, hoping to find someone to practice passing and dribbling with and Gouenji was looking for the same thing. While Fubuki may have gotten there first, Toramaru's assertive nature (and loudness) got him into Gouenji's line of sight faster than Fubuki could. So, instead, he consoled himself with an apologetic look from Gouenji as he walked off with Toramaru and a mostly successful practice with Hiroto before they were called in by the coach for a scrimmage. (That little mostly would've been a completely if he had had the sense to focus more on his own practice than on Gouenji's. It was okay, though, because he only missed the first two or three passes before he realized that.)

The third time was when Fubuki was hoping for some  _certain_  news from a  _certain_  flame striker about their...friendship (?). Well, that seemed like it was going really well. Splendidly well because at least that time, Gouenji managed to get a few words in before Toramaru came along hoping to practice Tiger Storm with Gouenji. When they'd finally agreed on a time to practice, Fubuki knew he should've been long gone, but he had been waiting for this conversation with Gouenji for such a long time (since that time at the river, really). Except all he got was an "Oh, you're still here?" and before he could say anything else, Fubuki had already mumbled out an apology and something about seeing someone for something (it was so vague that even he didn't remember who or what it involved).

Toramaru is a friend. Toramaru is an ally. Toramaru is just a kid. So then why does he always feel the need to hold himself back whenever he cuts in?

Now, instead of what would be the fourth time if Fubuki even had the guts anymore to compete with Toramaru for Gouenji's attention, he's standing on the opposite side of the field, trying not to catch the flame striker's eye. But he can hear their conversation. (Let's try a new wazza, Gouenji-san! Another one? Yeah, yeah! All right, if you really want another one.) Yes. Fubuki wishes that he were the one asking for a new wazza with Gouenji. He wants it. Badly. But after the disastrous third time, Fubuki figured that maybe Gouenji wasn't as interested as Fubuki had imagined him to be.

So he stands there, rooted in his spot, watching despondently as Gouenji and Toramaru talk over what kind of a shoot Toramaru had in mind. And this time, Fubuki can't really bite back the seething taste of jealousy. Yes, even though Toramaru's only a kid. Consumed with his thoughts (and jealousy...and was that a slight hint of anger in there, too?), he almost misses Hiroto walking into his peripheral. But he doesn't miss his question.

"Hey, Fubuki-kun, do you mind if I practice with you today?"

It seems so simple, almost like a trick question. Still, he's forcing a smile for the forward he doesn't want to practice with and drops the ball he's been holding this whole time (held in hopes that he hadn't screwed up nearly as bad as he thought he had last time with Gouenji). "Hiroto-kun, here!" he shouts, trying not to look in his peripheral at Gouenji smiling  _way too much_  at the younger boy.

He tries not to feel so empty when Gouenji (crap he must've seen him practicing with Hiroto) decides to sit with a certain person and Hiroto takes Gouenji's usual seat across the table from Fubuki.

_'When did I stop being good enough for you, Gouenji?'_

\--------------------

Fubuki likes to think that he's the one that's breaking off his friendship (still of questionable status) with Gouenji. But he knows in his heart that it had already been broken off a long time ago by Toramaru and he just has never acknowledged it until now.

And yet, he still can't bear to look at the flame striker focusing his attentions so thoroughly on Toramaru. He never thought of Gouenji as a changeable man. In fact, he has always been the steady one. That was one of the things that Fubuki had always loved (wait, loved, no, no, nope, like, just platonic like, no more feelings between them anymore) about him – that he could be calm and collected no matter what happened.

He misses having something so stable to count on.

So instead, he settles for Hiroto, the one who had the heart to reach out to him when saw that Fubuki was losing the person he'd counted on the most. (How can you let go of the person who's led you out of the darkness?) But the door's already closed on Gouenji. The one with Hiroto's just opened and Fubuki would be a fool not to take it.

He had already played the part of the fool once, letting someone like Gouenji get away. He wasn't going to do it again.

\--------------------

"Hiroto-kun!"

After practice, he finds himself running after the redhead, out of his own volition.

Gouenji doesn't even cross his mind once.

"We should do a new shoot together. It's time we showed everyone the results of our training together!" The words don't come out forced anymore. The smile doesn't come out fake.

The affection he feels for Hiroto is finally real. And it feels good.

\--------------------

There's hard work involved. There's always hard work involved, though, and Fubuki can handle it. There are bumps to smooth out that weren't there when Fubuki did Crossfire with Gouenji. Their power doesn't match well, with both of them giving too much and not feeling themselves matching.

Most of all, their hearts aren't on the same wavelength. They don't mesh as well as Fubuki did with Gouenji when they'd done Crossfire (to think that they'd done the shoot together, no practice, shooting Crossfire for the first time because they could  _feel_  each other). It doesn't feel right when they make the kick. None of it feels right. They talk constantly, trying to figure out how they can somehow synch together.

"Fubuki-kun, you're still using too much power. We have to be equal if we're going to do this right," Hiroto says matter-of-factly, wiping the sweat off his brow as Fubuki pants, sitting on the ground. He knows he can go longer, harder. They need to get this shoot right. But Hiroto wants the break anyways. Fubuki's pretty sure it has something to do with Midorikawa leaving the team after working too hard. Fubuki wonders if Hiroto cares about him the same way he cared (cares?) about Midorikawa. He wonders what this means for them, because he's not sure if he can ever reciprocate those feelings.

"I know, I know. Sorry, let's try this again, okay?" Fubuki gives him what he hopes to be an encouraging smile, standing back up again. He knows why they aren't fitting right. With Gouenji, their "equality" was through pushing each other's power, harder, faster, further. It was a rivalry, but it was the good kind of rivalry. Hiroto doesn't want to push their boundaries any further than they already are. But of course, Fubuki say his observation out loud.

"And, you know, you can call me Shirou." He stands up and dusts off the seat of his pants before getting into position to try their shoot again.

Gouenji passes through his mind again, nearly making him miss the shot (even though they miss anyways; they're still not working together right). While it makes him feel petty, it does give him a sense of gratification as well. Gouenji never got to know him so well as to call him by his first name.

Fubuki's not sure if he even wants to give Gouenji the chance anymore. Hiroto, at least, deserves it. He was the one who had the heart to help him out when Gouenji's attentions began to turn elsewhere.

Hiroto's the one who cares right now. Gouenji isn't.

\--------------------

They (Fubuki) finally manage to get their (his) act together in time for the semifinals. And it makes him so proud to see their shoot go in, using it for the first time in a match after finally managing to merge their power together properly, bringing Inazuma Japan one step closer to the world's peak. (Fubuki knows it's his fault. He hadn't been concentrating hard enough on focusing his power, but there's no need to tell Hiroto that. He's pretty certain the redhead already knew and was just being patient with him.)

"You were fantastic today, Shirou-kun!" Hiroto shouts, embracing him once Inazuma Japan has filed back into the locker room, "That goalie didn't know what hit him!"

"Un! And next time, we'll make an even stronger shoot, Hiroto-kun," Fubuki replies, feeling rather than seeing Gouenji's eyes on him. At first he wonders why.

For all of a second that is.

He knows why Gouenji is looking at him. Except that Fubuki knows he's not looking at him. He's looking at Hiroto, arm still wrapped around Fubuki's shoulder. He's looking because Fubuki never gave Gouenji any permission to call him by his given name.

And as petty as he'll feel tomorrow, or even an hour from now, Fubuki will take that victory.

He glances over his shoulder, just for a little bit, wondering if Gouenji is still looking, but he's turned away a long time ago (at least, Fubuki's pretty sure it was a long time ago), and had begun a conversation with Toramaru anyways. He knows that he shouldn't be surprised that Gouenji would turn his attentions elsewhere. Why wouldn't he? He's more surprised at the fact that he's still jealous about it.

Not for the first time does Fubuki realize that the ache he feels runs much deeper than he'd like it to run.

When he's turned his attention back to Hiroto, he catches the redhead looking in the same direction before turning back and flashing him a secretive smile. "Don't worry about it," he says. And Fubuki tries not to.

\--------------------

"Shirou-kun, you know, everyone knows it."

"Mm? Knows what?" ( _'That I'm playing dumb right now, that I'm using you like a replacement goldfish, that–'_ )

"That you miss Gouenji."

"A-ahaha, Hiroto-kun, I think you might have the wrong idea about us. I mean, we're just friends."

"Shirou-kun, you're lying to yourself. I admit, I was a little slow about it at first, but the way you look at him kind of gives it away. It reminds me of how much I miss Midorikawa."

And that's when he knows it. That's when he knows that he's a replacement for Midorikawa the same way Hiroto is a replacement for Gouenji.

\--------------------

"Fubuki-kun, what's going on."

After the graduation match, Gouenji has him cornered, standing in front of Fubuki, sitting on the bench. His stance is clear; he won't budge until Fubuki tells him the truth.

"Ne, Gouenji-san–"

"Not now, Toramaru-kun." Gouenji doesn't even turn around to look at the younger boy. His attention is focused entirely on Fubuki. He's pretty sure that means he should be scared.

"Fubuki. Answer me."

He's not even sure what to say. He's completely frozen, eyes wide, staring at Gouenji like a deer caught in headlights. The words come tumbling out of his mouth before he's ready to say anything.

"Nothing! Nothing's wrong. You should go see what Toramaru-kun wants; I think he's got something he really wants to say." He gives him a smile (it's such a weak smile, it doesn't even look like a smile, what is he doing right now) and tries to stand and move past him, but Gouenji won't let him, standing resolutely in his way.

"Then why are you avoiding me?"

"E-eh? Avoiding you? I wasn't…I wasn't avoiding you."  _'Why are you still lying to him, he probably knows the truth, after all, he's Gouenji.'_

"Why are you still lying to me?"

What, is Gouenji reading minds now?

"I'm not lying!" He's raising his voice. He shouldn't be raising his voice. There's everyone here, Fubuki can see them right over Gouenji's shoulder. They're staring.  _They're staring._

"Come on."

Gouenji, gruff as always, takes him by the arm, pulling him away from everyone. Fubuki thinks that it might be to save face. He knows he's right when Gouenji drags him into the old Raimon Eleven clubhouse.

"Fubuki," he says once the door is closed and Fubuki's seated on one of the desks in the clubhouse, "You've been avoiding me since the fight against the demon lord." Fubuki still can't look him in the eye, looking everywhere but Gouenji. "Tell me why."

"…please." It's added almost as an afterthought, but Fubuki still feels bad for it. Gouenji missed him. Gouenji had to have missed him if he's pulling something like this.

"I should go, I mean, I'm probably keeping you from Toramaru-kun, and–"

"You seem to care an awful lot about what I do with Toramaru."

Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. He's found out. He's found out now.

"O-of course I care! I mean, why wouldn't I, you really care about–"

"You think that I care about him more than I care about you." Fubuki freezes when he hears that. The way…the way he says it makes him pause. He looks up, making eye contact with Gouenji for the first time in…in a long, long time.

"But…you don't…?" Fubuki almost doesn't want to believe it. His grip tightens on the edge of the desk, trying to scale back his expression of wonder. After all, how uncool would that be? But Gouenji shakes his head in response, a smile forming on his lips. And that's when Fubuki feels like an idiot, because this is Gouenji he's dealing with.

"Fubuki, I hope you realize that Toramaru is thirteen," Gouenji says, sitting down next to him on the desk. Leave it to Gouenji to be so cool about something like this. "Why did you think that Toramaru would be a good reason for me to stop caring about you? Do you really think that I only have the attention span for one person?"

"No, but I thought you stopped caring about me."

"Why would you think that? Because of Toramaru?" Gouenji's hand inches closer and closer and closer until his fingertips are tentatively touching Fubuki's. He doesn't know if they've ever held hands before (even though they're not  _really_  holding hands, it's close enough).

"Well, you two do spend a lot of time together." Hiroto keeps telling him whenever they talk over the phone that Fubuki needs to be more upfront with his feelings. ("He knows, everyone knows. You're the only one pretending like you don't, Shirou-kun," Hiroto says as Fubuki helpfully reminds him of the fact that he hasn't seen Gouenji since the FFI. Hiroto says that it's his fault, after all, he's on the phone right now with Hiroto, isn't he?)

"I could say the same thing about you and Hiroto."

"You're jealous that he calls me Shirou."

"Only a little."

"You can call me Shirou too if you want."

"It'll take some getting used to, but I think I can do it."

And then Gouenji's hand is around his and it's much, much warmer than Fubuki had imagined it to be. And it feels right.

**Author's Note:**

> Note to self: Stop reading Miyukiko comics because they make you want to write. And while ambiguous timelines are a beautiful thing, this writing style was not. How do you write something decent. OTL Thanks for reading, though! ; u;b


End file.
